A conversation guide
Questions to ask your funeral director.
You don’t need to become a funeral expert before meeting with a funeral director. But knowing what to ask can completely change the conversation.
Before you begin
This is a conversation, not a test.
Funeral homes vary in how much green burial they have done. Some have arranged many at Elk Falls Cemetery; others have arranged none. That is normal, and it doesn’t make anyone a poor funeral director.
The purpose of this guide is not to catch anyone giving a wrong answer. It is to help you and the funeral director understand each other and build a clear plan together. A funeral director can be a real partner in creating the funeral your family wants — that is what most of them would like to be.
A good answer isn’t always an immediate yes. “I’m not sure, but I’ll find out” can be a very good answer.
How the guide works
It is built around eight conversations you might have. Each one includes:
- What you’re trying to understand — why the conversation matters.
- Questions you can actually ask — plain wording you could say across a desk or on the phone.
- Listen for — what a useful, open answer might contain.
- A good follow-up — the next question if the first answer is vague.
- Why it matters — a short explanation.
Some conversations also include your options and a place to write the answer down.
Notes and checkboxes are for printing; nothing is saved.
One question worth asking again
“Is that required by law, required by the cemetery, or is that your funeral home’s usual practice?”
There are several layers involved in arranging a burial, and they aren’t always the same thing:
- BC law — the province’s funeral and cemetery legislation.
- City of Campbell River cemetery rules — the bylaw for Elk Falls.
- Funeral home policies and practices — how a particular business usually does things.
- Your family’s preferences — what you actually want.
A funeral home’s usual practice is not a rule. A cemetery rule is not a law. Knowing which one you are talking about helps everyone make clearer decisions — and it makes it easier to say “we’d like to do this differently” without anyone feeling second-guessed. When the answer is a City rule, it is worth confirming directly with the City; the funeral home is relaying it, not setting it.
Conversation 1
“We want a green burial. Can you help us do that?”
Start broad. You’re trying to understand whether this funeral home has arranged a green burial at Elk Falls before, and — just as important — whether they’re comfortable working with you and the City if they haven’t.
Questions you can ask
- “We’re planning a green burial at Elk Falls Cemetery. Have you arranged one there before?”
- “If not, are you comfortable working with us and the City to arrange one?”
- “What would the process look like, from the time you receive the person until the burial?”
- “What parts would your funeral home handle, and what would we arrange directly with the City?”
Listen for
A step-by-step description of what happens; a clear sense of who does what; and either “yes, we’ve done several” or “we haven’t, but I’ll contact the City and confirm the details.” Both can be fine.
A good follow-up
- “Could you look into the specifics and get back to us?”
- “Who at the City would you be in contact with?”
Why it matters
A green burial has a few extra steps compared with a conventional one — the body is not embalmed, the City has to approve the container, and the interment is coordinated with the cemetery. A funeral home that has done it will know the local details. One that hasn’t can still do a good job if they’re willing to learn the City’s requirements.
Know your options
You can also do more yourself and use the funeral home for less (see Conversation 4). And you’re free to talk to more than one funeral home before deciding.
Write it down
Have they arranged a green burial at Elk Falls? What will they handle? What will we arrange with the City?
Conversation 2
“We don’t want embalming. What happens instead?”
Embalming is not legally required in BC, and a green burial at Elk Falls requires the body to be unembalmed. You’re trying to understand how the body will be cared for between death and the burial, what viewing options you have, and what any of that costs.
Questions you can ask
- “We don’t want embalming. How will the body be cared for between death and burial?”
- “Where will the body be kept?”
- “What options do we have if we’d still like to spend time with, or view, the person?”
- “Are there additional charges for refrigeration or care of an unembalmed body?”
Listen for
An explanation of cool storage or refrigeration; how timing works; realistic options for seeing the person (at the funeral home, and in some cases at home); and a clear note of any separate charge for refrigeration or body care.
A good follow-up
- “Is what you’re describing required by law, required by the cemetery, or is it your funeral home’s usual practice?”
Why it matters
An unembalmed body is cared for with cooling and simple preparation instead of chemicals, and can still be washed, dressed, spent time with and viewed. In BC, the rules about refrigerating a body apply to licensed funeral homes that are holding it; the official sources don’t set a fixed limit on how long a family may keep a body themselves, so timing is worth clarifying. Knowing which charge is for what lets you compare between funeral homes.
Worth asking whenever a requirement comes up
“Is that required by law, required by the cemetery, or is that your funeral home’s usual practice?”
Conversation 3
“What can we choose for the casket or shroud?”
Don’t just ask whether they sell biodegradable caskets. You’re trying to understand what green burial containers this funeral home offers, whether you can use a shroud, whether you can buy your own compliant container, and whether they’ll help confirm it meets Elk Falls’ requirements before you pay.
Questions you can ask
- “What green burial containers do you offer?”
- “Can we use a shroud?”
- “Can we purchase a compliant casket or shroud somewhere else?”
- “If we find one ourselves, can you help us confirm it meets Elk Falls Cemetery’s requirements before we buy it?”
- “What exactly is this casket made from?”
- “Does it contain plywood, MDF, particleboard, synthetic fabric, plastic, metal, varnish or synthetic adhesives?”
- “Does it have the rigid base needed for handling at Elk Falls?”
Listen for
Specific materials, and a willingness to confirm compliance with the City — rather than vague terms like “eco-friendly” or “natural.”
A good follow-up
- “Can you get written confirmation from the City that this specific container is approved for the green burial area?”
Why it matters
Elk Falls requires the shroud, casket or container to be primarily biodegradable and sustainable, approved by the City before the service, and to have a rigid base. Plywood, particleboard, fibreboard, metal (beyond minimal structural fasteners), exotic or non-sustainable wood, bleached cardboard, high-gloss or synthetic finishes, and synthetic glues or linings are not allowed. In BC you may supply your own compliant casket, and a funeral provider is not supposed to refuse a compliant container you bring.
“Green” is a marketing word. Materials are what matter.
No one — including this guide — should call a product compliant for Elk Falls until the City has confirmed it for the green burial area.
Know your options
Buy from the funeral home; buy from a specialist supplier (see Caskets & shrouds); a natural-fibre shroud on a rigid board; a plain unfinished softwood casket; or unbleached, recycled cardboard.
Write it down
Container being considered · what it’s made of · rigid base? · confirmed by the City? (yes / no / pending) · price
Conversation 4
“How much of a funeral home’s service do we actually want?”
Arranging a burial doesn’t necessarily mean you want a conventional funeral package. You’re trying to understand which parts of the service you need for what you’re asking them to do, and which are optional, so you can choose only what you want.
Questions you can ask
- “Can you walk us through your services one by one?”
- “Which services are necessary for what we’re asking you to do?”
- “Which services are optional?”
- “Can we choose only the services we want?”
- “If we hold our own memorial or gathering, what would we still need from you?”
- “Could you give us an itemized quote rather than a package price?”
Listen for
A service-by-service walk-through; a clear line between what is needed to carry out the burial and what is additional; and a willingness to itemize.
A good follow-up
- “Could you mark on the itemized quote which items are essential for the burial and which are optional?”
- “Is that required by law, required by the cemetery, or is it your usual practice?”
Why it matters
Asking these questions is normal and reasonable. You can ask what each service is for and decide whether you want it. If you plan to hold your own gathering, you may need less from the funeral home than a standard package includes.
Write it down
Services offered · which are needed for the burial · which are optional · which we want
Conversation 5
“What will this actually cost?”
Green burial can be simpler and involve fewer purchases, but the costs still come from more than one place. You’re trying to get the full picture — what goes to the funeral home, what goes to the City, and what could change it — in writing.
Questions you can ask
- “What will we pay your funeral home?”
- “What will we pay directly to the City?”
- “Are there third-party charges?”
- “Are there transportation charges?”
- “Are there refrigeration or body-care charges?”
- “Is the casket or shroud included?”
- “Are there additional charges depending on the day of burial?”
- “What could cause this estimate to change?”
- “Can we have the complete estimate in writing?”
Listen for
Separate figures for funeral-home services, the casket or shroud, transport, body care or refrigeration, and City cemetery fees; a note of what is a fixed price and what is an estimate; the weekend or statutory-holiday surcharge; and a written total.
A good follow-up
- “Can you put the complete estimate in writing, with the City fees shown separately?”
Why it matters
The City’s 2026 fee for a green burial in the Natural Burial (Green) Section is $2,685 for a resident and $3,010 for a non-resident, before tax, with possible extras such as a weekend interment or landscaping. The funeral home’s charges are separate from that. Seeing everything itemized lets you compare and decide. (See Costs for the City breakdown and the points still to be confirmed with the City.)
Estimate worksheet
Conversation 6
“How involved can our family be?”
You’re trying to understand what your family can take part in — being with the person, carrying, being present as the body is lowered, helping close the grave, a graveside ceremony — and what has to be arranged with the funeral home versus the City.
Questions you can ask
- “We’d like to be involved. What can we participate in?”
- “Can we spend time with the person before burial?”
- “Can family members help carry the casket or shroud?”
- “Can we be present when the body is lowered?”
- “Can we participate in closing the grave?”
- “Can we have a graveside ceremony?”
- “What should we arrange with you, and what needs to be arranged with the City?”
Listen for
A warm, specific answer about what is possible, and a clear note of what the City controls rather than the funeral home.
A good follow-up
- “Can you check with the City exactly what our family is allowed to do at the graveside, and let us know?”
Why it matters
At Elk Falls, you can ask to witness the interment when you make the arrangements, and the City may limit how many people stand close to the grave for safety. With advance notice, family and friends may take part in closing the grave, under City supervision — anyone taking part needs to be physically able to, and accepts responsibility for their own safety, and a witnessed service may carry a fee. Only the City opens and closes graves. Participation is not guaranteed in every circumstance, so it is worth confirming early.
Know your options
A graveside gathering you lead yourselves; readings, music, or time with the person before the burial; and, where the City permits it, helping to fill the grave.
Write it down
What we’d like to do · arrange with the funeral home · arrange with the City · confirmed?
Conversation 7
“What happens at Elk Falls?”
A green burial at Elk Falls involves the funeral home, the City, and your family. You’re trying to make sure someone is coordinating the two organisations, so nothing falls through a gap.
Questions you can ask
- “Who contacts the City to arrange the interment?”
- “Will you confirm the burial date and time with the City?”
- “Who confirms that our casket or shroud is acceptable?”
- “Who needs the burial / disposition permit?”
- “What do we need to have completed before burial day?”
- “Is there anything the City needs directly from us?”
Listen for
A clear division of responsibility; confirmation that someone will book the date and time with the City and get the container approved; and clarity about the BC Burial Permit (the disposition permit).
A good follow-up
- “Could you send us that split in writing, so we know what’s on us?”
Why it matters
The City needs a BC Burial Permit for the burial (or a Certificate of Cremation for cremated remains), a signed interment authorization, and payment in full before the burial. Bookings need at least 24 hours’ notice and are not taken more than 60 days ahead. Knowing who is doing what avoids last-minute surprises.
Funeral home handles
City handles
Family handles
Conversation 8
“What do we want the day to feel like?”
Before you meet the funeral director, it helps to talk this through as a family. This one is less about logistics and more about the experience you want.
Talk about it first
Do we want the day to feel…
Language you can use
- “We’d like the burial itself to be simple and family-led. How can you help us make that happen?”
- “We don’t want a traditional funeral service. We’d like ______ instead.”
- “We’d like our family to do as much as we’re permitted to do.”
- “We want to keep things very simple.”
Listen for
Openness to a pared-down, family-led approach, and help shaping it — rather than being steered toward a standard service.
Why it matters
You can talk about the experience you want, not only the products you might buy. A green burial lends itself to something simple and hands-on — but only if you say so.
Write it down
The day should feel… / We want the family to… / We don’t want…
Green flags
What productive communication sounds like.
This isn’t a rating system. It’s just a sense of what an open, workable conversation can sound like:
- “We’ve done green burials at Elk Falls before.”
- “I haven’t done one there, but I’ll contact the City and confirm.”
- “Here are your options.”
- “That service is optional.”
- “Let’s check whether that container meets the City’s requirements.”
- “Here’s an itemized estimate.”
- “You don’t need to decide that today.”
When to ask another question
Keep going, calmly, when you hear…
These aren’t warning signs about a person. They’re just moments where one more question usually helps:
- “That’s just how it’s done.”
- “You need this.”
- “This is our green package.”
- “The cemetery requires it.”
- “You have to buy the casket from us.”
If something isn’t clear, you can say
- “Can you help me understand why?”
- “Is that a legal requirement, a cemetery requirement, or your policy?”
- “Are there other options?”
- “Could you show me where that requirement comes from?”
You’re working out a plan together. Most funeral directors will be glad you asked.
Before you leave
A short checklist.
Printable workbook
A workbook version is on the way.
The same conversations, laid out with room to write — something you can print and take to the meeting. Leave your email and we’ll send it when it’s ready.
This form is not connected yet. For now, use “Print this guide” above.
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